US Govt. Official Program of RAPE (humor)

*Older Employee Notice!*

*~*

*Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50
years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs
and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE* *(**Retire
Aged People Early*
*). *

* Persons selected to be* *RAPED* *can apply to Congress to be considered
for the* *SHAFT* *program (**Special Help After Forced Termination*
*). *

*Persons who have been*
* RAPED* *and* *SHAFTED* *will be reviewed under the* *SCREW* *program
(**System
Covering Retired-Early Workers*
*). *
* A person may be RAPED* *once,* *SHAFTED* *twice and* *SCREWED*
*as many times as Congress deems appropriate. *

*Persons who have been*
*RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES
(Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). *

* Obviously persons who have **AIDS* *or* *HERPES* *will not be
SHAFTED or* *SCREWED
any*
*further by Congress. *

*Persons who are not* *RAPED* *and are staying on will receive as much*
*SHIT* *(**Special High Intensity Training**) as possible. Congress has
always prided themselves on the amount of* *SHIT*
*they give our citizens. *

*Should you feel that you do not receive enough* *SHIT**, please bring
this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you
all the* *SHIT*
*you can handle. *

*Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (*
*E.V.I.L.**)*

*PS – Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas
and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.*