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Ken Wilber Interview on science & religion

Home › Forum Online Discussion › Philosophy › Ken Wilber Interview on science & religion

  • This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 17 years, 5 months ago by Michael Winn.
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  • May 1, 2008 at 11:42 am #28291

    Michael Winn

    note: this is a good summary of Ken’s ideas, simplified. His notion of spiritual science overlaps with mine, but is not identical, not processual enough, too buddhist influenced. But still a major contribution to mapping out areas of confusion. I feel he also misses the boat completely on the human ability to co-shape the energetic field, i.e. “create reality”. It’s the cooperative shaping effort between heaven, earth and humanity I think he is missing. -Michael

    YOU ARE THE RIVER: AN INTERVIEW WITH KEN WILBER
    By Steve Paulson
    Salon
    April 28, 2008

    http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/04/28/ken_wilber/print.html

    The integral philosopher explains the difference between religion, New Age
    fads and the ultimate reality that traditional science can’t touch.

    …………..

    Ken Wilber may be the most important living philosopher you’ve never heard
    of. He’s written dozens of books but you’d be hard-pressed to find his name
    in a mainstream magazine. Still, Wilber has a passionate — almost cultlike
    — following in certain circles, as well as some famous fans. Bill Clinton
    and Al Gore have praised Wilber’s books. Deepak Chopra calls him “one of the
    most important pioneers in the field of consciousness.” And the Wachowski
    brothers asked Wilber, along with Cornel West, to record the commentary for
    the DVDs of their “Matrix” movies.

    A remarkable autodidact, Wilber’s books range across entire fields of
    knowledge, from quantum physics to developmental psychology to the history
    of religion. He’s steeped in the world’s esoteric traditions, such as
    Mahayana Buddhism, Vedantic Hinduism, Sufism and Christian mysticism. Wilber
    also practices what he preaches, sometimes meditating for hours at a
    stretch. His “integral philosophy,” along with the Integral Institute he’s
    founded, hold out the promise that we can understand mystical experience
    without lapsing into New Age mush.

    Though he’s often described as a New Age thinker, Wilber ridicules the
    notion that our minds can shape physical reality, and he’s dismissive of New
    Age books and films like “The Tao of Physics” and “What the Bleep Do We
    Know.” But he’s also out to show that “trans-rational” states of
    consciousness are real, and he’s dubbed the scientific materialists who
    doubt it “flatlanders.”

    Wilber’s hierarchy of spiritual development — and the not-so-subtle
    suggestion that he himself has reached advanced stages of enlightenment —
    has also sparked a backlash. Some critics consider him an arrogant
    know-it-all, too smart for his own good. His dense style of writing, which
    is often laced with charts and diagrams, can come across as bloodless and
    hyperrational.

    When I reached Wilber by phone at his home in Denver, I found him to be
    chatty and amiable, even laughing when he described his own recent brush
    with death. He’s a fast talker who leaps from one big idea to the next. And
    they are big ideas — God and “Big Self” and why science can only tell us so
    much about what’s real.

    ………….

    Paulson: You’ve written that there’s a philosophical cold war between
    science and religion. Do you see them as fundamentally in conflict?

    Wilber: Personally, I don’t. But it depends on what you mean by science and
    what you mean by religion. There are at least two main types of religion.
    One is dependent upon a belief in a mythic or magic dogma. That is certainly
    what most people mean by religion. Science has pretty thoroughly dismantled
    the mythic religions. But virtually all the great religions themselves
    recognize the difference between “exoteric” or outer religion, and
    “esoteric” or inner religion. Inner religion tends to be more contemplative
    and mystical and experiential, and less cognitive and conceptual. Science is
    actually sympathetic with the contemplative traditions in terms of its
    methodology.

    Paulson: When you refer to mythic religions, are you talking about the kinds
    of stories we read in the Bible?

    Wilber: Or any of the world’s great religions. Laotzu was 900 years old when
    he was born. According to the Hindus, the earth is resting on a serpent,
    which is resting on an elephant, which is resting on a turtle. Those kinds
    of mythic approaches aren’t wrong. They’re just a stage of development. Look
    at [Swiss philosopher] Jean Gebser’s structural stages of development. They
    go from archaic to magic to mythic to rational to pluralistic to integral
    and higher. Magic and mythic are actual stages. They’re not wrong any more
    than saying “5 years old” is wrong. It’s just 5 years old. We expect there
    to be higher stages. There was a time when the magic and mythic approaches
    years ago were evolution’s leading edge of development. So we can’t belittle
    them.

    Paulson: Where do you think the scientific worldview falls short when
    dealing with religion?

    Wilber: Conventional science has correctly dismantled the pre-rational myths
    but it goes too far in dismantling the trans-rational. The mythic and magic
    approaches tend to be pre-rational and pre-verbal, but the meditative or
    contemplative practices tend to be trans-rational. They completely accept
    rationality and science. But they point out that there are deeper modes of
    awareness, which are scientific in their own way.

    Paulson: What do you mean by trans-rational?

    Wilber: People at these higher stages of spiritual development report a
    “nondual awareness,” a type of awareness that transcends the dichotomy
    between subject and object. The mystical state is often beyond words. It is
    trans-rational because you have access to rationality but it’s temporarily
    suspended. A 6-month-old infant, for instance, is in a pre-rational state,
    whereas the mystic is in a trans-rational state. Unfortunately, “pre” and
    “trans” get confused. So some theorists say the infant is in a mystical
    state.

    Paulson: Are you saying people with a rationalist orientation can’t make
    these distinctions?

    Wilber: I’m saying that when people look at mystical states, they often
    confuse them with pre-rational states. People like Sigmund Freud take
    trans-rational, oceanic states of oneness and reduce them to infantile
    states of unity.

    Paulson: Why has the scientific worldview dismissed this trans-personal
    dimension? For most intellectuals around the world, the secular scientific
    paradigm has triumphed.

    Wilber: It’s understandable. Historically, if you look at these broad
    stages, the magical era tended to be 50,000 years ago, the mythic era
    emerged around 5,000 B.C., and the rational era — secular humanism —
    emerged in the Renaissance and Enlightenment. The Enlightenment was an
    attempt to liberate myth and base truth claims on evidence, not just dogma.
    But when science threw out the church, they threw out the baby with the bath
    water.

    You can’t prove a higher stage to someone who’s not at it. If you go to
    somebody at the mythic stage and try to prove to them something from the
    rational, scientific stage, it won’t work. You go to a fundamentalist who
    doesn’t believe in evolution, who believes the earth was created in six
    days, and you say, “What about the fossil record”? “Oh yes, the fossil
    record; God created that on the fifth day.” You can’t use any of the
    evidence from a higher stage and prove it to a lower stage. So someone who’s
    at the rational stage has a very hard time seeing these trans-rational,
    trans-personal stages. The rational scientist looks at all the pre-rational
    stuff as nonsense — fairies and ghosts and goblins — and lumps it together
    with the trans-rational stuff and says, “That’s nonrational. I don’t want
    anything to do with it.”

    Paulson: So where does God fit into this picture? Do you believe in God?

    Wilber: God is a perfect example of how these two types of religion treat
    ultimate reality. You asked, “Do you believe in God?” In exoteric religion,
    it’s a matter of belief. Do you believe in the kind of God who rewards and
    punishes and will sit with you in some eternal heaven? But in the esoteric
    form of religion, God is a direct experience. Most contemplatives would call
    it “godhead.” It’s so different from the mythic conceptions of God — the
    old man in the sky with a gray beard. The word “God” is much more misleading
    than it is accurate. So there’s a whole series of terms that are used
    instead by the esoteric traditions — super-consciousness, Big Mind, Big
    Self. This ultimate reality is a direct union that is felt or recognized in
    a state of enlightenment or liberation. It’s what the Sufis call the
    “supreme identity,” the identity of the interior soul with the ultimate
    ground of being in a direct experiential state.

    Paulson: It does raise the question of whether God — or ultimate reality —
    has some independent existence, or whether this is just a mental state that
    our minds can conjure up.

    Wilber: That’s right. One way we try to find out is by doing cross-cultural
    studies of individuals who’ve had the experience of the supreme identity and
    see if it shows similar characteristics. The most similar characteristic is
    it doesn’t have characteristics. It’s radically undefinable, radically free,
    radically empty. This formless ground of being is found in virtually all
    esoteric religions around the world. For the final test, take scientists
    with a Ph.D. who are studying brain patterns and put them in a contemplative
    state of the supreme identity and ask them whether they think that state is
    real or just a brain state. Nine out of 10 will say they think it’s real.
    They think this experience discloses a reality that’s independent of the
    human organism.

    Paulson: Do you see this ultimate reality as some sort of being or
    intelligence out there?

    Wilber: Well, if you look cross-culturally, what you’ll find is that spirit
    or godhead can be looked at either through first-person, second-person or
    third-person perspectives. The third-person perspective is to see spirit as
    a grand “it.” In other words, a vast web of life. Gaia in this third person
    is the sum total of everything that exists. A second-person way of looking
    sees spirit as a “thou,” as an actual intelligence that is present and is
    something you can, in a sense, have a conversation with, keeping in mind the
    ultimately unknowable nature of godhead. Many of the contemplative
    traditions go further and say you can approach spirit as a first person. So
    that spirit is “I.” Or that would be Big Self.

    Paulson: This means “I am God.”

    Wilber: That’s right. This first-person perspective is an experience of pure
    “I-am-ness,” behind your relative ego. Discovering your Big Self comes
    directly in the contemplative state of non-dual awareness. This means
    subject and object are one. It’s not that you’re looking at the mountain
    when you’re going on a nature walk. You are the mountain. You’re not
    listening to the river anymore. You are the river.

    Paulson: You are a longtime meditator. You’ve written about having sustained
    experiences of this nondual awareness. What does it feel like?

    Wilber: [Laughs] It’s very simple. It’s something that’s already present in
    one’s awareness but it’s so simple and so obvious that it’s not noticed. Zen
    refers to it as the “such-ness” of reality. [The Christian mystic] Meister
    Eckhart called it “thus-ness.” These states of consciousness are temporary,
    peak experiences. There’s no bliss. Rather, it’s an absence of any
    constriction, including feelings of bliss. The feeling is vast openness and
    freedom and lightness. You don’t have a sense that I’m in here and the world
    is out there.

    Paulson: You were a budding scientist at one point, a graduate student in
    biochemistry. Why did you give up the scientific track to study these
    spiritual matters?

    Wilber: I had a scientific orientation. I think I was a born scientist. In
    fact, I was one of those kids with the early science labs — all the frogs
    you cut up, the explosions in the basement. I went to Duke University in the
    medical track. And then I decided I wanted to do something more creative, so
    I switched to biochemistry at Nebraska. But as I moved into young adulthood,
    mere rationality didn’t really seem to be answering the questions that were
    arising in that stage of my life: Why am I here? What’s it all about? What’s
    the nature of reality?

    Paulson: What changed for you?

    Wilber: I realized that exterior science wasn’t working. So I turned to Zen
    Buddhism. To me it was very scientific. It’s a practice, an actual
    experiment. If you do this experiment, you’ll have some sort of experience,
    and you’ll get some data. William James defined data as an experience. Then
    you check your direct experience with other people to make sure you didn’t
    goof up. Some sort of consensual evidence is required. There are several
    schools of thinking about how to evaluate scientific evidence. One of the
    most famous is Karl Popper’s, where you try to disprove it. So this process
    is exactly what I was doing in Zen Buddhism. You have to train your mind.
    And frankly, this mind training was more difficult than anything I did in
    graduate school.

    Paulson: What about Karl Popper’s objection: If you can’t disprove
    something, then it’s not science. Can you disprove the effects of
    meditation? How far can you take this scientific analogy when you’re talking
    about a contemplative practice?

    Wilber: Pretty far, I think. These meditative disciplines have been passed
    down for hundreds of years, sometimes thousands of years. Much like judo,
    there are actual techniques that you can learn and pass on. In Zen, you have
    the practice of zazen. You have to sit and count your breath for up to an
    hour and concentrate on an object for at least five minutes without losing
    track. The average American adult can do it for 18 seconds. Then you have
    the data, what’s called satori. Once you train your mind and look into your
    interior, you investigate the actual nature and structure of your interior
    consciousness. If you do this intensely enough, you’ll get a profound aha
    experience, a profound awakening. And that satori is then checked with
    others who’ve done this practice.

    Paulson: But I doubt many scientists would accept this as proof of science
    because, ultimately, people are left to describe their own experiences. You
    can’t measure this with any conventional scientific instruments.

    Wilber: You move in the realm of phenomenology. And you either accept
    phenomenology or you don’t. This also applies to psychoanalysis. You get the
    same complaints that it’s not real science, that you can’t prove it. Well,
    fine, but then you can’t prove any interior experience you’re having. You
    can’t prove you’re loving your wife, you can’t prove you’re happy. Forget
    all of that, it’s not real. If that’s the mind-set you have, nobody’s going
    to convince you otherwise. It really comes down to whether there are
    interior sciences. These interior sciences use the same principles as the
    exterior sciences. If you define science as based on sensory experience,
    then these interior endeavors are not science. But if you define science as
    based on experience, then these interior ones are.

    Paulson: What about brain-imaging studies? Various neuroscientists are
    hooking up Buddhist monks and Christian nuns to brain-scanning technology,
    and they see changes in brain activity during meditation or prayer. But can
    they tell us anything fundamental about the nature of consciousness?

    Wilber: Yes and no. What’s starting to show up are significant and unique
    fingerprints of these meditative states on the brain. That’s been
    demonstrated with people who do a type of meditation that’s said to increase
    compassion — imagining someone else who’s in pain and breathing in their
    pain, creating a feeling of oneness with that person. These people start
    showing distinctive gamma wave patterns. These gamma waves show up almost no
    place else. But let me tell you what it doesn’t prove. The claim that it’s a
    higher mental state can only be made if you’re looking at it from the
    inside. We say that waking is more real than dreaming. But brain waves won’t
    tell you that. The brain waves are just different. You can’t say one is more
    real than the other.

    Paulson: This raises a fundamental question about the whole mind-brain
    problem. Virtually all neuroscientists say the mind is nothing more than a
    3-pound mass of firing neurons and electrochemical surges in the brain. Why
    do you think this view is wrong?

    Wilber: It reduces everything. And you can make no distinctions of value.
    There’s no such thing as love is better than hate, or a moral impulse is
    better than an immoral impulse. All those value distinctions are erased.

    Paulson: But is that scientific view wrong?

    Wilber: At this point, you enter the philosophy of science, and the argument
    is endless. Is there nothing but physical stuff in the universe? Or is there
    some sort of interiority? We’re not talking about ghosts and goblins and
    souls and all that kind of stuff. Just: Is there interiority? Is there an
    inside to the universe? And if there is interiority, then that is where
    consciousness resides. You can’t see it, but it’s real. This is the claim
    that phenomenology makes.

    For example, you and I are attempting to reach mutual understanding right
    now. And we say, aha, I understand what you’re saying. But you can’t point
    to that understanding. Where does it exist? But if you take a phenomenology
    of our interior states, then you look at them as being real in themselves.
    And that’s where values lie and meaning lies. If you try to reduce those to
    matter, you not only lose all those distinctions, but you can’t even make
    the claim that some are right and some are wrong.

    Paulson: But somewhere down the road — 50 years from now, 500 years from
    now — once neuroscience becomes much more advanced, will scientists be able
    to pinpoint where these values and thoughts come from?

    Wilber: I’m saying we’ll never understand it. The materialists keep issuing
    promissory notes. They always promise they’re going to do it tomorrow. But
    interior and exterior arise together. You can’t reduce one to the other.
    They’re both real. Deal with it.

    Paulson: You’re saying there’s no way we can map what’s happening in our
    brains — the neuronal activity, the synaptic connections — to explain
    what’s going on in our inner experience.

    Wilber: That’s right. All you can do is map certain correlations. You can
    say that when a person’s thinking logically, certain parts of the brain
    light up. But you can’t determine what the person is thinking. More
    important, you can’t reproduce the reality of the person thinking because
    that’s a first-person experience. This first-person reality can’t be reduced
    to third-person material entities. What that means is that consciousness
    can’t be reduced to matter. You can’t give a material explanation of how the
    experience of consciousness arises.

    Paulson: Let’s talk about evolution. It seems to me that the great religious
    traditions don’t know what to do with the evolution of the human brain. At
    some point in our evolutionary history — maybe 50,000 or 100,000 years ago
    — the brain developed a new level of complexity that produced language and
    conceptual thought, basically, the human beings we are today. Is our
    consciousness rooted in the material matter in our brains?

    Wilber: An integral approach maintains that an increase in the complexity of
    matter is accompanied by an increase in the degree of consciousness. The
    greater the one, the greater the other. So if we look at complexity in
    evolution, it goes from atoms to molecules to cells to early organisms to
    organisms with a reptilian brain stem to organisms with a mammalian limbic
    system to organisms with a triune brain. We find major leaps in
    consciousness with each of those levels of complexity.

    Paulson: But can you even talk about consciousness before you reach a
    certain level of evolution? I mean, bacteria don’t have consciousness.
    Plants don’t have consciousness.

    Wilber: I don’t talk about consciousness. I talk about interiority. What you
    see is that as soon as you have a cell, it starts to respond to the
    environment in ways that can’t be predicted. If you’re just looking at
    material stuff — like a planet that doesn’t have life on it — a physicist
    can tell you where that planet is going to be, barring other forces, 1,000
    years from now. But that physicist can’t tell you where my dog is going to
    be two seconds from now. There is a degree of non-determined interiority.
    It’s simply there. You can’t dismiss it.

    Paulson: What do you think of the New Age writers who see a link between
    mysticism and the weirdness of quantum physics? There have been popular
    books, like “The Tao of Physics” and “The Dancing Wu Li Masters,” as well as
    the hit film “What the Bleep Do We Know.” They point out that reality at the
    quantum level is inherently probabilistic. And they say that the act of
    observing a quantum phenomenon plays a critical role in actually creating
    that phenomenon. The lesson they draw is that consciousness itself can shape
    physical reality.

    Wilber: They are confused. Even people like Deepak Chopra say this. These
    are good people; I know them. But when they say consciousness can act to
    create matter, whose consciousness? Yours or mine? They never get to that.
    It’s a very narcissistic view.

    But the real problem is what’s called “the measurement problem.” And 95
    percent of scientists do not think the measurement problem involves
    consciousness. It simply involves the fact that you can’t tell where an
    electron is until you measure it. It’s very different from saying it doesn’t
    exist until you measure it. That’s entirely different from saying human
    consciousness causes matter to come into existence. We have abundant
    evidence that the entire material universe existed before human beings
    evolved. So the whole notion that human consciousness is required — it
    retroactively creates the universe — is a much harder myth to believe than
    myths about God being a white-haired gentleman pulling strings up in the
    sky.

    Paulson: But you seem to have a dualistic view of how to look at reality.
    There’s the material stuff and then there’s this interior stuff, and the two
    have nothing to do with each other.

    Wilber: Well, that’s simply a metaphorical way that I talk about it. Spirit
    is not some other item sitting over here, separate from the material world.
    It’s the actual reality of each and every thing that’s arising. The ocean
    and its waves are typically used as an example to describe this. The ocean
    is not something different from the waves. It’s the wetness of all waves. So
    it’s not a dualistic stance at all.

    Paulson: You’ve written that many of the great 20th century physicists —
    Einstein, Bohr, Planck, Heisenberg — were actually mystics, even though
    none of them thought science had any connection to religion.

    Wilber: I wouldn’t say it quite that strongly. What happened is they
    investigated the physical realm so intensely in looking for answers, and
    when they didn’t find these answers, they became metaphysical. I collected
    the writings of the 13 major founders of quantum mechanics. They were saying
    physics has been used since time immemorial to both prove and disprove God.
    Both views are fundamentally misguided. These physicists became deep mystics
    not because of physics, but because of the limitations of physics.

    Paulson: So understanding that physics can only go so far — that there are
    many things it can’t explain — is ultimately a mystical position?

    Wilber: That’s correct. These are brilliant writings. They’re really quite
    extraordinary. Not many people realize that Erwin Schrödinger, the founder
    of quantum mechanics, had a deep satori experience. He found that the
    position that most matched his own was Vedantic Hinduism — that pure
    awareness is aware of all objects but cannot itself become an object. It’s
    the way into the door of realizing ultimate reality. Werner Heisenberg had
    similar experiences. And Sir Arthur Eddington was probably the most eloquent
    of the lot. All of them basically said that science neither proves nor
    disproves emptiness.

    Paulson: You’ve said Buddhism is probably the esoteric tradition that’s
    influenced you the most. But you also criticize what you call “Boomeritis
    Buddhism.” What’s that?

    Wilber: What we found in the ’60s was that there was an overinfluence of
    feelings. Anti-intellectualism was rampant, and it continues to be rampant
    in a lot of meditative and alternative spiritualities. There’s a tendency to
    explain the trans-rational states in terms that are pre-verbal. So instead
    of a Big Self, you’re just experiencing a big ego. For heaven’s sake, this
    generation was known as the “me generation.”

    Paulson: So the irony is that Buddhism is supposed to be a practice where
    you get rid of your self, but it sometimes becomes all about yourself.

    Wilber: Exactly. If you’re caught in Boomeritis, you pay attention only to
    sensory experience. Mental experience is thrown out the door, and so is
    spiritual experience. It ends up being, inadvertently, all about yourself
    and your own feelings.

    Paulson: There’s an assumption that master contemplatives, people who can
    reach exalted states of enlightenment, are wonderful human beings, that
    goodness radiates from them. Do you think that’s true?

    Wilber: Nothing’s ever quite that simple. There are different kinds of
    intelligence, and they develop at different rates. If your moral development
    reaches up into the trans-personal levels, then you tend to be St. Teresa.
    But some, like Picasso, have their cognitive development very high but their
    moral development is in the bloody basement. We think someone is enlightened
    in every aspect of their lives, but that’s rarely the case.

    Paulson: You have many admirers. You also have critics. One objection is
    that you are too full of yourself. The science writer John Horgan, in his
    book “Rational Mysticism,” said the vibe he got from you was, “I’m
    enlightened. You’re not.” How do you respond to this charge of arrogance,
    the sense that you’ve unlocked the secrets of the universe and no one else
    has?

    Wilber: A lot of people see me as much more humble. I continue to change
    because I’m open to new ideas and I’m very open to criticism. Basically,
    I’ve taken the answers that have been given by the great sages, saints and
    philosophers and have worked them into this integral framework. If that vibe
    comes across as arrogant, then John would get that feeling. Of course, he
    was trying to do the same thing, so I would have brushed up against his own
    egoistic projections. But some people do agree with him and feel that my
    support for this integral framework comes across as arrogant.

    All I’ve done is provide a map. We’re always updating it, always revising
    it, based on criticism and feedback and new evidence. You see those maps
    that Columbus and the early explorers drew of North and South America, where
    Florida is the size of Greenland? That’s how our maps are. What’s surprising
    to me is the number of savvy people who’ve expressed support for my work.

    Paulson: About a year ago, you nearly died from a grand mal seizure, which
    triggered more seizures. From what I heard, you were on life support
    systems. You almost bit off your tongue. Weren’t you unconscious for several
    days?

    Wilber: I did have 12 grand mal seizures in one evening. I was rushed to the
    E.R. comatose. I was in a coma for four days. During that time, I had
    electric paddles put on my heart three times. I was on dialysis because my
    kidneys had failed. I developed pneumonia. Ken Wilber was unconscious but
    Big Mind was conscious. Ken Wilber came to on the fourth day.

    Paulson: Are you saying some part of you was aware of what was going on,
    even though you were unconscious?

    Wilber: Yes. This is a very common experience of longtime meditators. There
    is an awareness during waking, dreaming and deep sleep states.

    Paulson: I’m having trouble understanding this. Some part of you was aware
    of the people moving around you?

    Wilber: There was a dim awareness of the room. It did include people moving
    in and out of the room and people sitting by the table. It did include
    certain procedures being done. But there wasn’t a Ken Wilber as a subject
    relating to things that were happening. There was no separate self. Ken
    Wilber, if he were conscious, presumably would be upset or would be happy
    when the heart started beating again. But there were none of those reactions
    because there was just this Big Mind awareness, this nondual awareness.

    Paulson: The way you talk about this, it doesn’t sound like such a bad
    experience! I would’ve thought this would be horrible.

    Wilber: [Laughs] Exactly. When you listen to more conventional near-death
    experiences, they don’t sound so bad either. In any event, I was told that I
    would take quite a while to recover. But I walked out of the hospital two
    days later, with everything normal. So I put that down in part to my own
    spiritual practice and the rejuvenating capacity that this awareness has.

    Paulson: Does the prospect of dying frighten you?

    Wilber: Not really. What comes up is just thoughts of how much work in the
    world there is still to do. And with this recent experience — letting me
    know that Big Mind is what there is — that fundamental fear of dying has
    basically left. Still, when someone asks if I have a fear of dying, I find
    myself hesitating. What goes through my mind is positive stuff — friends
    that I would lose and work that needs to be done.

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