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Journal Entry

Home › Forum Online Discussion › General › Journal Entry

  • This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 17 years, 3 months ago by Dog.
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • July 17, 2008 at 3:23 pm #28771

    Steven

    JOURNAL ENTRY:

    As I look to update my log, I notice that a lot has changed in the past
    year. My bio and goals are *SO* out of date; they need to be changed. In
    a way, returning to the journal was an eye-opener to show just how far I’ve
    come since then . . .

    I’m currently the bookstore manager down at the Healing Tao Retreats at
    Heavenly Mountain, and have been here since June 8. What an intense
    time period it has been.

    Maybe I should backtrack a bit and retrace some history . . .

    I started the Healing Tao practices in early Fall 2006. I began
    learning the Deep Healing Qigong, and used it as way to help start
    over after ending a 6-year codependent relationship with my first love.
    Practice was exactly what my soul needed. What a powerful form
    the Deep Healing Qigong is. It is a long form, and took a while to
    learn, but it will always remain my favorite.

    Shortly after, I began learning the Qigong Fundamentals. I built up
    my base, and then by the end of May 2007, I felt pretty comfortable with
    QF1-2–except I wanted to strengthen my orbit practice.
    I felt it time to join the HT community, so then last summer I
    went to Heavenly Mtn. during the retreat programs and took several courses:
    DNA Repair & Immune Qigong with Taoist Yoga, Qigong Fundamentals 1-4,
    Iron Shirt 1-2, Fusion 1.

    The changes were immense, and I returned home 3 weeks later
    unsure of how to fit back into my old life, as I was no longer the
    same person as before.

    Since then, I went to Asheville in October 2007 and learned
    the Primordial Qigong form–certain problems I was having internally
    resolved themselves that weekend.

    Then later I returned to Asheville in November to
    retake QF1-2. In December, I took a 2 week private retreat
    at a hermitage where I devoted the entire time to cultivation.
    Practice-wise, I solidified my Fundamentals practices, strengthened
    my Tao Yin, and reviewed everything else. On an internal level,
    a lot of growth took place during that intensive.

    In March, I returned to the hermit cabin for a few days of cultivation,
    and followed it up with a trip to Asheville to learn Fusion 1; in April,
    I went to Asheville again to do Fusion 2-3.

    Due to a strange turn of events, a previously booked summer became wide
    open and provided the opportunity to come down to NC as the bookstore
    manager for the Healing Tao Retreats for the summer.

    So, in any event, I arrived here June 8.

    The days preceding the first retreat week and much of the retreat week
    was very physically exhausting. For almost 10 days straight, I worked
    18 hours days–going to bed at 2am and getting up at 7am–to get
    the store in order.

    Finally, I began taking classes as well as my bookstore duties.

    For the past 4 weeks, I have been taking retreat classes and working in
    the bookstore–pretty physically, emotionally, energetically, and spiritually
    exhausting as my limits on all ends were tested. No afternoon or evening naps
    as it is that time that the bookstore is open.

    My first week of classes I retook Qigong Fundamentals yet again–but this
    time my intention was for the accumulation of requisite hours for instructor certification.

    My second week of classes I took Iron Shirt 2-3 and Fusion 3 with David Twicken.
    David was a real wealth of information and a real machine–when we weren’t
    on afternoon break or mealtimes, we were in class. Extra class 9-11pm was
    common. That was a real week of transformation. All of the bone beating
    with wire hitters and tendon exercises really forced loose a lot of deeply
    buried toxins and started a healing crises that continued into the next week.
    Now that I know how to use the wire hitters, I intend to keep using them.
    The combination of Iron Shirt 2-3 with Fusion 3 was a nice combination, and
    the associated meditations were the perfect complement to the Iron Shirt
    practices which helped to process the junk that was jostled to the
    surface by the Iron Shirt.

    My third week, I took the Healing Love course with Michael Winn and
    Minke de Vos. Starting to work with sexual energy for the first time
    and really activating the kidneys with the kidney exercises caused some
    intense detoxes in a number of us–and I definitely released a lot of
    trapped fear held in the deep kidney recesses. A couple of times I
    had a particularly intense detox–dizziness, nausea, lightheadedness,
    coupled with the release of intense fear . . . almost panic. Sort of
    miserable in the moment, but I always felt better after it cleared
    out . . . felt cleaner inside.

    I think we bury a lot of fear deep down inside surrounding sexual
    issues and once you start to play with and face what you’ve always
    been afraid to face or tried to hide, you can really tap into that
    buried fear. Now you can’t delay it any longer, you have to face it.

    Even though I was exhausted, I pressed onward, and took the
    Lesser Kan and Li course next week with Michael. What a whole
    new world that is. I really appreciated all of the work that
    I did previously in the first formula that lead to that course.
    The energies you begin to tap are quite strong, and without a
    good base, it would be a bit much otherwise.

    After all of the preceding work, the meditations that week either
    knocked me out totally, or if I was able to stay present found the
    opposite. Namely on that end, I experienced such strong energetic
    responses I had a hard time to not shake, quiver, sigh, and/or grunt
    as the meditations preceded. One day I had an energetic explosion
    similar to an orgasm except that it didn’t peak but keep going higher
    and higher. After the meditation, I felt “stoned” and somehow
    “hyperconnected” to everything. I went outside and I could feel nearby
    trees, rocks, clouds, etc. all directly connected to me–a state that was
    both blissful while almost uncomfortable as sensory input felt multiplied
    by 10 times what it can normally handle. Another day I felt like I
    was some kind of lightning rod or conduit passing large amounts of heaven
    chi through my body down into the earth. Pow! What an intense flow
    of energy down through my body. My legs shook as it passed through.
    What an intense class–especially as Michael had supercharged it with
    some transmissions from his new Advanced Lesser Kan and Li course.

    As that retreat came to a close, I went through the testing and
    certification process to become a Healing Tao instructor. I look
    forward in the future to being able to pass on what I’ve learned and
    share with others my love for this process.

    Now after doing 4 weeks of retreats in row with bookstore duties, I’m
    taking some time to let it all digest. I’ll remain here working in the
    bookstore for these last three weeks, but no classes. It’ll be a
    yin time to integrate and process everything that has happened thus far.

    Love and inner smiles to all of you,
    Steven

    July 17, 2008 at 5:26 pm #28772

    Swedich Dragon

    Hello Steven

    It seems to me that you have evolved quite fast in this system lately. I also see way you have the capability to give some good advises. You will be a good Universal tao instructor I believe.

    Good luck in the future

    S D

    July 17, 2008 at 11:02 pm #28774

    Dog

    “After the meditation, I felt “stoned” and somehow
    “hyperconnected” to everything.”

    Yeah buddy I took on the inner yuan often. Day dreams can be trippy to after allot of kan & Li. I felt one time like I was acutely some were else, waking around like I was awake, it was out side what looked like a prison in the dessert some where. Welcome to the party. Is anyone else getting buzzed on this beautiful Full moon.

    Ahhhhwooooohhh

    I am off to howl at the moon.

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